Miss you!  / Kristy Dennis (Friend)

Hey Jen!  I haven't written in a while so I thought this time when I stopped by I would.  I miss you a lot and around the holidays I think about you more than ever because I know how much you loved them and loved being around family friends and food! =]  I wanted to tell you that graduation is only 3 weeks away and I don't think I realize how big of a milestone this accomplishment is yet.  I bet I will realize what having a master's means when I am walking across that stage to get my diploma.  I wish you could be there in person cheering me on although I know you will be watching from above.  Things are hard right now with everything going on in the economy but I know that they will get better with time and that we will all make it.  I saw baby Jen the other day she gets bigger each time I see her.  Speaking of kids getting bigger you should see Jacob.  He is so cute and smart Jen I remember how excited you were about him coming into this world.  He just brought home an award the other day for being on the principles list and he was one out of 3 kids in Kindergarten he was soooo excited he cracks me up.  Him and Adrian are getting so close the older he gets because he wants to hang out with the guys instead of with the girls so they do nothing but wrestle and play every time they are together it's so cute.  And as for that baby Ryen she is getting big too.  She is 9 months old now and sooo cute.  Amber had such a hard pregnancy but things are much better now and I am hoping that she will have more kids and not be afraid of the same things happening to her again.  She is a good mom but it sucks not being able to see them all the time because they live in Phoenix.  I bet if you were still around we would be making trips to go visit Amber and all of us hang out just like old times when we had to yell at you to get in the car all the time! =]  Anyway just thought I would stop by and give you an update and let you know how much I love and miss you!  Talk to you later!

 

-Kristy

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My crazy beautiful Jen.....  / Leah Stuart (friend)
It just seems like yesterday we were getting out of class and debating on where to go eat for lunch and on the way there we were cracking up cuz your horn was going out on your truck and of course you kept making it go off untill it completely stopped working.... not a day goes by where I don't think of you.... I went to visit you while I was in Show Low the other day I took my little man with me after all you are his aunt Jen and even though your gone he will know how great of a person you are..... I see everybody having kids and getting married including myself and it just doesn't seem real that your not here doing the same thing.... I will never forget you Jen even though you may not be here in person your spirit lives on in every story about you in every laugh about the good times we had together and even though it kills me that we still can't laugh together I'm so thankful for the time I did have with you.... your an amazing person and an awesome friend.... there are times me and Krista just talk about the past and we don't cry because all we can do is laugh cause with you there was never a dull moment you were always laughing or saying something crazy.... you really did help so many of us with your friendship and love thank you for that.... I wish you were here to see Mason.... He is getting so big its crazy you would absolutely love him..... he is growing up so fast it just seems like yesterday he was born..... I miss ya girly so much and I would give anything to have you here with all of us again..... you are truly loved and very much missed.... and no matter how many years go by your always in my heart and memories ALWAYS..... I love you Jen Close

thought of you, jen, when i read these lyrics...  / Nikki (cousin)
Caterpillar in the tree
How you wonder who you'll be
Can't go far but you can always dream
Wish you may and wish you might
Don't you worry hold on tight
I promise you there will come a day
Butterfly fly away

Butterfly fly away (butterfly fly away)
Got your wings now you can't stay
Take those dreams and make them all come true

Butterfly fly away (butterfly fly away)
You've bin waiting for this day
All along and known just what to do Close

It's Been Awhile...  / Friend

It has been so long since I came on here and looked at your gorgeous pictures and lit a candle in memory of you.  I remember so many things about you.  Although you were taken from us the memories of you are still so fresh in my mind.  The pictures I have of you at home take me back to your time you had here on Earth.  I recently became a Mom and a Wife.  I cannot help but wonder why you were not allowed to be these things.  It just puts me into tears a child wasn't given to you to love because that child would have had the most amazing Mommy.  And a man to call you his wife what a lucky man...luckiest on Earth.  Why am I allowed to have these things and you were taken when you just about to really start life? There are millions of people who mistreated life and are here doing nothing with the very air they breathe other than abusing their bodies and time.  You should be here..it just isnt fair.  I know Heaven is a much better place for you because that is where Angels belong but it would have been nice to have had you here for longer.  You have a special place in so many hearts.  They have a Jenn filled spot that no one can take.  I guess you did as you should have on Earth.  You touched lives of people.  Your memories stain my memory and I hope you hear my prayers.  Thank you for being you while you were here.  The person no one can replace the person you could make anyone smile....and the person who left a piece of her no matter how big or small your ability to give was like no other person I have come acrossed.   You are one of a kind...

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Stoppin' in to say hi!  / Kristy Dennis (Good friend )
Hey Jen how are things going, hopefully good.  Things are going good for me I am almost done with school and should be graduating with my masters on December 11th I'm so excited.  I think I will take a break from school for a while but think that sooner or later I will go back again maybe for my doctorate but who knows what the future holds.  Jacob is getting big he is starting kindergarten in August and he is all excited, he's so cute and funny like the rest of our family.  I know you loved being around all of us because we did nothing but laugh and eat which were two things you loved to do as well.  My sister just had a baby in Feb too, a little girl and she named her Ryen.  She is soooo cute and throws fits because Amber has her so spoiled already.  It's crazy to see everyone having babies and growing up.  It makes me wish you were still around doing the same......I am going floating the river this weekend with the family and am excited but I get so burnt everytime even with sunscreen but it's fun, you loved the water too!  There are so many things that remind me of you and although I don't get on here daily and say hi or leave a message I know that you know I think about you often and always will.  It gets harder for me to remember certain things I used to about you as time goes by but what I will always remember is how big of a heart you had, how you just wanted everyone to get along, how you wanted to always have fun and laugh, and how you loved everyone around you.  I miss all of that and will NEVER forget it!  I love and miss you so much, take care until I talk to you again next time!  =]   -Kristy       Close

5 years...???  / Janice
Jen, I seem to have to add this up in my head to think that possibly I have forgotten how to add. that I must be wrong somehow that time has passed us by this way. 5 years..how can this be.. How every day, I didn't want tomorrow because it was another day gone by and for your  familyand friends who had not seen you.   Every week that passed by was another week and then a month and then months and then the thought of years was just to much for our hearts to take and how it has been 5? Your Mom has gone through so many empty days.  Longing for you to come home and somehow knowing deep down you are home, just unable to accept that as a fact.  Your home should be where your Mom is, not God. Yet God gets to overrule our love and take you home with him. I don't know if i make sense here to anyone but it's just being a mother is amazing, the best thing in life and to lose a child is devestating. This pain is undescribable and although we are able to go on in our day to day lives it is something that never leaves our hearts, not one minute of each and every day. Yet, honestly if we were asked, would you do it over again. Yes, in a heartbeat.
I know your Mom would go back to the beginning, even knowing this
terrible heartache of loosing you. Every minute of you here on earth with her was worth it and more.  Diana, I can't imagine your pain today. I know it is every day but more so today and yesterday and the days to follow until once again you can begin to heal a little.
Take care my friend...And know that our thoughts are with you.
Jen...Be  an angel for your Mom as she knows you are. You are there, behind the scenes helping the children get through to the other side... Close

its all such a shame  / Taylor Henderson (friends friend )
i dont personally know you but seeing and meeting the people that did has shown me that you must have been a very amazing person
im sorry about your accident and the ones you left behind. im sure heaven is almost as beautiful as you are. this world would be such a better place if were still here. your still in every ones hearts. and mine. i didnt know you but im sure i wouldve loved you. so im saying. i love you and miss you.
god bless. Close

reality / I. Love You Jen (sister)
Hi pretty girl-I had to start this off w that- prettys an under statement. You're an angel that I was lucky enough to meet. I can't believe it's 2009. Wow time flys!! I have learned so much about life. All the meaningless things that go on that people let take over there daily lives. Filled with envy negativity greed and jealousy. Everything I just mentioned is human nature but the strongest over come those feelings.

You are very special, you seemed like you were never poisoned w that style of living, niether one of us were. (We are too loving) Reguarless of the bull shi* we had been put through- thus we all go through as we grow up- soon to mature later in life and laugh about it. Life goes on and as ive grown Ive cut alot of people out of my life that are meaningless and whom that dont have the best intentions for me. I dont need 500 fake friends. I only need the real ones and its less than a hand full.

I have grown up so much in my life now Jen. Im 22 and still think of you everyday and how beautiful you are. I wish I had the pleasure of styling your hair still. But besides that I have met someone very special to me. I haven't met someone that knows the goofy krista you knew like the back of your hand. Hes great. Finally found someone real and humble. We have the best time which im sure you already know.

Im an adult now w my own business. I have goals and I complete them. Everything I have is because I have worked very hard to get it. Definitally been put to the test and had to leap through many hurtles to get where im at... but everything happens for a reason.

I also had the great priveleage of growing up in a low income area where everyone looked at me like I had it all. Like there was some frea*ing money tree in my back yard. Well the reality of it is my life was never a walk in the park and NO my parents dont have the money tree- to be honest Im still searching for this great money tree - so I can start living the lavish life style of majority of our generation and charge up some fake breasts to boost my confidence. In reality that will never make a person beautiful it will just be less for them to someday retire w. Besides that even if my parents had a money tree... why the hell would i think for one second they owe me and Im entitled to there assets? Exactly I wouldn't they gave me life thats good enough for me. With everyone running around like there parents are gonna baby them forever reality check will hit... quit being lazy put the ego down and realise you are not to good for the 99 cent store.

I also grew up 1/2 my child hood with my child hood friends and a boyfriend that was alot older than I was. I thank every day I wake up I had you Jen. You still help me everyday that I grow up in life. You are an angel jen. Sweetest thing I know. My best friend. Amasing isnt it?? How you can grow up w all odds and everyone around against you and still come out an optomistic person. Im talking family doubting you, bullys around school, the "BULLYS" parents even, the whole freakin administration besides the great Mr Dan Koury or Mrs "awseome" Turley. I didnt get pushed to my full potential growing up because I was to worried about all the jealous girls that hated me and all the guys that helped agravating these girls. And of course the issues that were under my roof. The roof my mother repeadedly told me was NOT A HOME ANYMORE. Great words to tell your 12 yr old growing child thats dealing with there parents splitting and an older brother that has done evil things to help with all the doubtfull poisoned thoughts that were filling in peoples minds and tried sabotoging me multiple times. When they need to step back and handle there own personal addictions and issues. Treat me for once in there lives w respect and like Im not an idiot. You can only call your mother and email her so many times until you give up because you get sick of not getting a response back. When you talk to your sister and she just got off the phone w her. What a sweet caring mother.

Im not bashing her I love her shes my mother. But I dont love what shes done to me my whole life. Its been an emotinonal roller coaster and all i wanted her to do was love me (like the love you and your mom experienced) and recognise how talented I am and all my great qualities. And how I have the oppurtunity to make it big.

You have no idea how much I loved watching you and your family interact w each other. There was more love in the room than I can explain. You all knew each other and didnt judge one another and for the most part you all had a great time being together. They wanted you around all the time. Its because you have such a great sole. Its warmed mine for the rest of my life. If it was strong enough to permanetly warm mine im sure you all can only imagine how she lit up a room!!!!! A whole house even.

Well Jen I am doing great my business is booming and growing day by day and all my clients are 100 percent loyal to me. I care about them so much. Its therapeutic for me to do hair its a huge release from all the pain Ive endeered in my mid to late child hood. I love giving love. Its one of the most beautiful things in life. W out it you have nothing. love = happiness :) Also forgiveness is huge. And always being true to yourself. I am also learning a ton of stuff on accounting and the actually meaning of a dollar. Its something I have always been interested in and love to do. I will someday have multiple businesses. Im also buying my first house on my own. My life has been great and very rewarding. Im almost to the point where I can kick my feet up and look around and say DAMN 5 yrs later and I have all i could have ever wanted on my own.

One more thing....(I can write alot ive only been typing for 20 min.) Im writing a book on everything I went through as a child and how it led me to be very successfull and strong minded and im dedicating one of my books to you and it will mainly talk about us. As well as being humble and not to good for the finer things in life. The meaningful things are important the flashy things are worth nothing. (Unless its gold or stocks & bonds or mutual funds etc)

Sweet dreams pretty girl, take care Diana I hope to see you soon I love you both.

luv yuh like a sis Krista
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:'( / ... ... (...)

i miss you jen.  i dont know whats going on w me today im very emotional and feel like something bad might happen.... i dont know why.  i just want to cry right now. I feel scared... and you know me i never feel scared of anything. i just want you to know how much i really do love you and miss you... hopefully nothing bad is going to happen to me.  if it ever did... i want to be next to you.

luv you always

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Things have changed  / Kristy Dennis (Good Friend )

Hey Jen, how are you doing in Heaven?  I know better than ever but I sure miss you.  I wanted to write because I haven't in a while and also because there have been so many changes since the last letter I wrote you.  I didn't get married, I'm single actually and very happy.  I am single now and loving it because I haven't been single since high school.  I wish you were around to get crazy again with me now.  I never got to get too crazy because I always felt tied down but now it's a different story.  I am having fun with my friends and family and being careful at the same time.  I am half way done with my master's and plan on graduating next Dec which is not that far away.  I am still working at the counseling center and am actually a counselor now and love it.  I knew this is what I wanted to do since I was really young.  I wonder all the time what you would be doing these days if you were still around.  I bet it would have been something to do with animals or old people because you had a passion for both.  I hope that everything is going ok for you in Heaven and that you actually read what everyone writes you because all of us want to tell you how much we miss and love and also how we will never forget you.  How could any of us forget "Jen the Queen"!!! =] Love Ya! -Kristy

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irreplacable / Krista M. (sis)
Hey beautiful girl. I'm still missing you. Still think of you everyday. Wish you were here w me. My life keeps changing. People come in and out of it daily but your shoes have yet to be filled. The empty space in my heart trys to stay filled w are memories. :'( I miss you soo much Jen. I keep thinking the next friend is gonna be the one like you.. and that Ill have that bond back. But I know thats not the case. And I dont think it will ever happen. I know I cant make miracles happen and have you back. You are truly and irreplaceable sole. You are you and there is no one close to being like you. Trust me Ive been searching for almost 5 yrs now. I just want you to know that im very thankful for having you in my life. Everyday I thank god that I was blessed to know you and become as close as we did. I made it through so much because of you. Hope you can still hear me... my thoughts, my wishes, my prayers and I hope you can help me guide my way through all this bull shit im dealing with. And can help me and give me enough courage to stick w turning a new leaf to my life. Let everything from my past go that needs to go and make tomorrow and the next day better and better. I want to have a healthy happy living life style and I want it all sober. I want to be able to have that mind set like we had when we were kids. We didnt need anything to make us have a good time. Ive been partying since we were young adults and Ive gained nothing from it. Just trained myself to use it as a crutch to coping w reality and the hard ships that come w life. Well lifes tough no one has it easy. And it could always be a hell of alot worse. I had this open house at my salon and it was so nice. We had it catered orderves wine the works... and this older women came up to me asking me about the extensions I was doing during the party. (they came out freakin awesome too 12 hours of work... and im talkin perfection :) but anyways she was the sweetest older women and it looked like she had some surgery done to her face i dont know for what but it just made me want to cry... she was so happy and positive! And it just made me think that going through whatever she went through must have been so hard and it made me a little more thankful for everything I have and to not be so hard on myself. No one has a perfect life. All my limbs work great and Ive been blessed w a natural talent w hair... and Im 22 have my carreer and know excactly what I want out of life now. Not very many 22 year olds can say that. Im very proud of where Im at and I just want you to know Im so thankful you were right by my side the whole time. And I know your lookin down on me very proud too. Im 100% independant. I love it. Its an awesome feeling getting in my awesome infiniti g35 I got all on my own. I wish you were w me in the passenger seat.... you some what still are. Thats always gonna be your spot. Whether its a pinto or a van thats your spot :) luv you jen. luv yuh like a sis.... still have your letter dont read it to often its to hard... I have everything still. always will... taking that letter to my grave. :'( luv you jen. xoxo
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22 / Diana (Mom)

You would have been 22 tomorrow Jen.

I think of you always and wonder where life would have taken you.

I will "never" be the same without you.

Love & miss you forever,

Mom

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hey / Kayla Mcpherson (cousin)
wow i cant believe it. me and katee are finally sophmores and johns a senior. it didnt take long. you should see how big everybody is getting...john doesnt have that little kid look anymore...its strange seeing him all grown up...and then theres me and katee we get our permits in a couple of months.. high school is definatly not as scary as i thought..its alot easier having katee by my side through everything...i miss you and cant wait to see you someday...love ya jen Close

Jen.... / Katee Candelaria (cousin)

Jen,

Well its that time again and one more thing is going on, on that special\sad date. Grandpa is getting his surgery on the 4th. Please Jen you and God watch over him! and over mom (Melissa), auntie Diana, and grandma Joanne! They need our support, love, and prayers right now! Just letting you know and thinking about you...

Eveyone misses you so much Jen! I havent got on here in a while and i started to read some of the stories. Then i looked at the photos again for the millionth time. Everything just made me cry...so many people care about you Jen! And looking at the pictures made me think wow!!Because kayla and i are going through all of those high school experiences now. Its crazy because i remember looking up to and thinking i cant to do what Jen is doing! She is so pretty and honest...i want to be that way!So thanks Jen for being the amazing person you are!You had such an impact on peoples lives by just the smile on your face everyday!

You are always greatly missed and loved, Jen! Dont forget that! Watch over Grandpa and be with your mom this week! Please!I Love You Jennifer!!! Miss You Always!! =]

Love,

Katee

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Hey Jen!  / Kristy Dennis (good friend )
Hey Jen, how are things up there in heaven.  Things down here are still going a mile a minute like always.  I just wanted to write to say hi and let you know that I am thinking about you like always.  I am sure that you know by now but me and Melisa are friends again after just growing apart when we were younger and we are really close again and it feels good, she is a good friend and she is going to be in my wedding.  Amber's wedding is next weekend too and I wish you could have been there for both of ours but I know you will be there in spirit walking down the aisle right next to us or at least I hope so.  I love and miss you so much take care and I will talk to you again soon. Close

Hi! / Sheila Chairez (Friend)
Hi Jen, it's me! I haven't been here in about a year or so, and your site is still going strong. Everyone has changed so much. I'm married to Oscar...remember the Oscar Meyer song we sang to the team everyday "My bologna has a first name.....Ha!!!" I've also had a little girl, her name is Shayna Angelica, she's beautiful Jen! She looks nothing like me but oh well. I saw Stacey lit a candle and she was remembering us playing softball; I remember everything too. You know we used to hurt eachother pretty good...remember when the pitching machine wasn't aligned right and I put the ball in, the ball hit the net then your head....oh my God that was sooo funny. Well, it was nice dropping by your site...look after everyone K. Lots of love, Sheila Close

How time flies!  / Kristy Dennis (Friend)
Hey Jen, can't believe how fast things are happening in my life and how you are not here to share them with me.  I am getting married in August and am sooo excited, your skinny self would have probably been in my wedding being all silly and making everyone laugh as usual.  Sometimes I remember when Adrian and I just got together and were spending a lot of time together and you were sad because we were so close and then we just hung out less and less and sometimes I wish I would have known what was going to happen to you because then I would have tried to spend more time with you but nobody knows when things like this are going to happen.  All I know is I sure miss you and sometimes my dad and I talk about you and laugh, he loved you too because you were a tomboy just like me and fun to be around.  Well, I just started my Master's program this week and am taking my first class and it kind of blows my mind how fast time flies because I am only 22 and am going for my Master's.  I wonder what you would have been doing by now?  I still haven't been to your grave for who knows what reason, I think I am just scared that I am going to feel the hurt all over again and I don't want to do that.  Losing you was so hard I am just glad that Adrian was there to support and comfort me.  We had some of the best times when we were younger with several of them ending with us coming home late at night and talking to your mom about what we did that night and of course we lied because we weren't doing anything that was up to no good but that was because we were young and crazy like everyone is at that age and I think your mom understood that but nobody would have guessed that alcohol would have been one of the reasons that you are not here today.  I hope some people learned from what happened to you because so many people I know have gotten DUI's since you passed and they are not thinking of what COULD happen, nobody thinks about that.  In the end, I just wish you were here to enjoy life with me, your mom and famliy and all of your many friends that miss you.  Otterpop season is coming around the corner and ever though it is freezing outside I am still eating them in the freezing cold and will still be eating them for years to come, we both just loved them!  Your mom wrote me an email about otterpops before when I mentioned them in an older letter and she had me balling, it made me realize the hurt she feels and how the simple things we say mean the world to her because of how we remember you and we will always remember you.  I love you Jen and I will talk to you soon.... -Kristy Close

luv you girl... cant believe its 08'  / Krista M. (sis)

Hey Jen.  Just thinking of you... I always think of you girl.  Got your signature on my back :) always.  I just wanted to thank you Jen.  Thank you for watching over me and always leading me the right way.  :)  You get all the credit.  You're kindess and love and loyalty means the world to me.... I will carry that with me the rest of my life.  You'll always come to my  mind no matter how old I am or where i'll be at in my life.  Well Jen just so you know I didn't settle and I found that companionship Ive always wanted.  Thank you so much Jen.  That letter I got a week after you passed away is why Im at where Im at.  That gave me the strength that first yr to get up and go to school!  Kept me motivated to do good for you and I.  And this is the nicest guy Ive ever dated.  Its everything I need and want :)  Its crazy it feels like my life is just falling into place.  And its where you wanted it and me too.  The only thing is I wish you were here w me.  In away though you're so strongly apart of me that it almost feels like you never left.  I talk about you to anyone that comes into my life.  They all know about my sis/ best friend jen!!  I love you dogg... :)  I'm Listening to Dear Mamma.  Thank you jen for coming into my life.  Thank god every day I had you for a best friend.  Dont know what life would be like w. out that.  Probably pretty cold, lost and lonely.  LOVE YOU GIRL TILL THE END :'( one day ill see you again until then be there for your family and dont ever forget your number one homie and fan.  RIP  luv yuh like a sis always kritta xoxoxoxoxoxox

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Wobble, Wobble  / Just A. Friend (Friend)
Hey Jen! I can't believe this is really what life is like without you. Never in a million years would I have dreamed that things would turn out this way. I know I'm supposed to move on with my life but I can't. I see you everywhere, in my dreams, in my thoughts, and always in my prayers. I titled this wobble wobble because of one night when we went walking around by the public swimming pool and it was so cold. I sure miss those days. Close

Thinking of you!  / Danielle F.
Hey, women. its been so long since I have stopped by to say hi. I think of you all the time. How could i forget you. How could any one forget some one like you. I hope you are keeping an eye on your mini me. (Bubbles) She is so cute. It's like you were here to teach her all you little habits. When she thinks her little tongue sticks out. Maybe she will be a little ball player too. She has her ups and downs. When she has her downs i know your by her side. She has shown so many times that she is a fighter. I know you wont let any thing happen to her. Miss you and i hope for the best for your mom, pat, and melissa and every one else.  Keep them strong!! Luv Ya Always, Danielle Close